Somebody Take Care Of This Please
Let's save the millions on promoting dollar coins and take care of this:
Scientists calculate that if Apophis passes at a distance of exactly 18,893 miles, it will go through a "gravitational keyhole." This small region in space—only about a half mile wide, or twice the diameter of the asteroid itself—is where Earth's gravity would perturb Apophis in just the wrong way, causing it to enter an orbit seven-sixths as long as Earth's. In other words, the planet will be squarely in the crosshairs for a potentially catastrophic asteroid impact precisely seven years later, on April 13, 2036.I plan on being around in 30 years and am not particularly enthusiastic about getting vaporized by an asteroid traveling at 30,000 MPH. Saving humanity is, actually, one of those few government programs I could get behind...
posted by Brian Griffiths at 7:55 PM
6 Comments:
Don't worry I heard the new Senator from 31 has a plan to take care of the problem and has written a thousand page essay on what to do so that it doesn't hit district 31. He is also starting a new charity Simonaire’s Asteroids to raise money to help orphans of the impending disaster. I also hear he is starting a new grassroots organization called Simonaire’s Jackasses for Democrats stupid or gullible enough to help dig up dirt on other Republican candidates for him to use in future elections should anyone dare to challenge him.
It has also come to my attention that if Miller gives him too much grief he is going to send hackers down to PG County to rig the next election, so the problem goes away. It is also my understanding the first bill he is going to introduce is the “Simonaire can ignore the law” bill so that he doesn’t have to follow county or state code when it comes to campaign signs, even if ordered to remove them he will get to keep them up until Election Day.
Is it to early to nominate him for lying pompous ass of the year for the next Lincoln day dinner? I wonder if his father will curse me out again when he reads this? Stay tuned for next week to see if I still have a job.
Don't worry, David. The junior senator will be shown the door in 4 years. His father, mother and wife can cry foul all they want. I wouldn't be surprised to see Simonaire knocked off in the primary next time.
David,
That has got to be the most hilarous thing I've heard in quite a while, but calm down!
The questions that really need to be posed are:
Why was it not reported on Simonaire's campaign contribution report that Gable's Sign and Graphics so generously donated its vehicles and employees for use the day before election day to festoon signs all over the 31st, some of which have yet to be picked up.
and......
Simonaire has also never reported any charity named "Heroes at Home" or "Simonaire's Santas" to the IRS. There are no charities listed that Brain Simonaire, His Wife, or any other family member heads.... So the question remains, where does the money really go that they collect? You know they can't just be collecting toys....
Frank, that is interesting information to know. I have been waiting for him to report those signs that he had in the back of his cars that someone gave him (I presume Gable). Before he went off the deep end, we used to talk and if I remember correctly he told me they had been donated.
Maybe I should give the IRS a call and point them in his direction, if someone already hasn’t. Of course since both his charities were nothing but extensions of his campaign maybe any money he received did go into the campaign. Although in thinking about it, if he spent any money for those charities (signs) it should rightly be listed on his campaign account as they were part of his campaign plan. I have heard he was paying the man with the property on Route 100 a fee each month. I have also heard he was going to pay the fine the man was going to get from the county for not taking the sign down. I am not sure how accurate this information is but I am sure the IRS would get to the bottom of it
I see Miller must have read my post because he announced he would not run again in four years. I guess he didn’t want to happen in his district what happened here in ours with Jimeno’s sudden retirement.
Considering that guy charges $100 per month, can we expect to see this on Simonaire's campaign report? Likewise, is the guy charging the money reporting this income to the IRS?
You folks need to spend your time focused on Dems rather than chasing a bunch of dead ends based on hearsay from somebody who has allowed his personal hatred of Simonaire consume his life and wholly cloud his judgement.
The Dems bragged following their election and outlined what they did. In so doing, they outlined numerous federal and state campaign and IRS violations. Violations not based on one's fiction but rather outlined specifically by the speaker of the house and numerous other democrats on the front pages of multiple newspapers.
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